Empathy

Now this really is a super-power. It's the basis of some of the most capable and effective individuals with especially well-honed people skills. Empathy.

It's an oft-used word. I venture to make the point that it's a hard-wired, inherent capability. It can be polished a little maybe - but it is not a skill that can be taught. Some will argue with this. It's not.

If you don't have it, the best you can hope for is to learn some techniques that scratch the surface of imitating it. But thats like sporting a low-cost fake Rolex..... it won't pass even remotely close scrutiny from those who know, it will stop working just when you need it .. and more importantly, you will know it's not real.

So what is it? Put simply. It's the ability to identify and sense other peoples emotions and share their feelings; really putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things from their space.

It's distinct from sympathy which is simply a feeling of concern for someone.

In daily interactions empathy is actually at its most useful in reading people (without, or with limited clues) and in understanding the impact that you are having on people ( and..., BTW... adjusting accordingly)

Sounds easy right? ... its not. Believe me. It is kinda weird that people with little or low empathy don't know it. If you think about it how could they. Those blessed with empathy immediately detects its absence in others.

We have all come across the salesman who continues his pitch despite it being blindingly obvious to us that he has lost the room a long time ago; and still he will opine afterwards that he thought it had "gone quite well". The same individual will not have picked up the clear clues that his audience were closing their notebooks and packing their bags before he had delivered the killer part of the pitch. We will have seen this replicated in meetings and discussions many times.

Great leadership is build upon a varying mix of abilities and skills to create an environment for performance, engagement and fulfillment. Empathy is towards the top of the list of abilities that good leaders need.

Whilst great empathetic ability helps many to excel in their careers, its not unusual for individuals to advance their careers on the basis of other abilities and skills. So you cannot always rely on your boss being empathetic. Sadly. A lack of empathy will evenually undermine them - unless their role locks them away from other people entirely (sorry accountants & actuaries - but we are all thinking of you at this point).

Empathy is a core ingrediant of what you will need to be successful if you have to deal with people - and who doesnt?

Time to look in the mirror of your colleagues feedback?