Just. Be. Yourself.

being yourself is not always easy

They like to call it "authenticity" nowadays. It makes it sound like the subject has depth, subtle hues of great substance and layers of meaning with deep-seated values. Thus, allowing people like me to write about it; knowingly and wisely. I could even write a book about "being your authentic self". Maybe. It would be dripping with life lessons and advice. Or not.

I do want to talk about ....... being yourself.

One of my favourite pastimes is to sit and people-watch. Whatever the place, whenever the occasion, it's always enjoyable and fascinating to observe how good folk dress, behave, and interact. Their affectations, body language, and aura. Something that we all might enjoy occasionally. (Warning: there can be a fine line between people-watching and staring rudely and intrusively - so be warned - tread carefully).

Anyway - shifting to my David Attenborough persona for a second. In the context of people-watching, most people can, at least on occasion, be observed in their natural habitat shorn of affectations or false personas. They are usually just being themselves. However, it's not always the case.

We all know what it's like to be yourself. it's easy, relaxed and liberating. No act. No conscious thought. Yet, we are also aware of the range of other personas that we deploy. The one when you answer the phone in a more refined voice than your usual guttural grunt maybe? Or perhaps the professional polished and smooth presentation mode? Or the overly matey interaction with the bloke mending your washing machine? Whatever. These are all instinctive reactions used to create an impression, or to make a connection. These personas can be applied defensively, combatively or manipulatively. They can be utilised to build bridges or to deter the very thought in others. They can be used to assume a status or to create the perception of one.

It's all getting very complicated, isn't it?

It's as if we, as individuals, are inherently just not confident that just being ourselves is good enough - but it often is.

We employ a range of disguises to avoid exposing our true selves. The clothes we wear, the bags we carry, the cars we drive, the company we keep, even the places we are seen in. All of these cloaks mask who we are. They are a barrier used to deflect, reject, distance, or just conform. Even worse, as context changes, we are in danger of becoming social chameleons. Blending into our background like some crazed shapeshifter. How many times have you known someone but never really known them. It's often a sign that they don't really know themselves... who they really are, what they really stand for. Afraid to be confronted by their true selves.

There are many times when we consider using a different persona in advance. Wisely or otherwise. How should I act? what should I wear, what should I say? Almost all false pretensions slip away or shatter once we are confronted by familiarity, humour and laughter and any danger or risk of just being ourselves is taken away.

My advice is always the same. Whatever you are faced with - whoever you are meeting - just be yourself - be honest, open and real. It's the only consistent you that exists. Be yourself - flaunt it, embrace it, celebrate it.

People don't have to like it but then they have a honest choice.