Deep or shallow: choose carefully

Fast food is fantastic in feeding our ever-growing need for instant gratification.

I want it and I want it now!

why do I still feel hungry?

But then some time later you still feel hungry.

There was a time when food had a weekly rythmn. Families would shop once a week for most of their needs - often with a predetermined list or to satisfy a revolving cycle of menus for family meals (fish on Friday anyone?). That was then....

Now we live in world where a shockingly large percentage of people don't even know what they are going to eat that evening as the working day draws to a close. That's why convenience stores, late opening, ready-meals, microwaves and fast food (ably supported by a variety of increasingly dodgy looking delivery guys on electric bikes) work so well (at least in world where healthy eating sometimes loses the battle against the necessities of modern-day living).

E-commerce now gives tempting options of a range of decreasingly urgent timeframes to satisfy your unquenched need - from same-day, through next-day through to next month (when you realise that the item of your desire is sourced from China - Damn! ......I never noticed that!).

So it's possible to get many if not most things almost immediately .... but, of course, always for a price.

This concept of instant gratification ports across to human relationships & friendships.

We have all met the person who acts like your best friend before the end of your first encounter. Gushing smiles, over-familiarity, instant invites to social occasions. It's something between needy, "salesy" and downright unnerving - right?.... or not.... because some people respond well to this approach and quickly build trust and friendships in the same way that they consume a microwaved meal - because they can and it satisfies a need.

Alternatively I look back at some of the best and deepest friendships that I have amassed. Most are long-term and built up over time like the patina developing on a fine piece of furniture that slowly takes the edge off the newness and adds depth and character. Many friendships started off slowly or even badly! - but they were all mutually earned and built on a developing trust. To the point that you know that your friends will always have your back and be there for you. This also applies to "business friendships".

Even if a person appears initially cold and standoffish it might just simply be a sign that they dont want the instant gratification of an instant friendship. But are more likely to be more disposed to earning trust and developing relationships over a long term. Alternatively the over-friendly individual promises much but things can all be over far too quickly and you never see them again .... and leaves you wanting more.

So maybe in life we do need to accept that, like our food, our relationships can not only satisfy an instant need, but also include those that take a while to prepare, a long time to cook and an age to savour.

Fast and shallow ...... or ...... deep and enduring. Choose your relationships carefully.